haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"