'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i may or may not be watching the land before time
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list