I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I touched a dick in church today
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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