I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
...so i touched it.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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