god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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