The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
