I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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