I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
