I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
