So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
