she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
there is glitter all over my balls
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
