you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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