apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
