i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
