You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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