Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Randomize
