well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i drank out of a bidet.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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