I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Randomize
