i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We just shotgunned beers for America
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
