You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
