I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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