Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
