just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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