she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize