I'd wear matching sweaters with you
What did we do last night that was yellow?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
