So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize