just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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