I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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