Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
