i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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