can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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