I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
