I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
PANTIES FOUND
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