All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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