you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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