Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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