:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
