Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
