I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
