Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
