So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
