I think I just saw someone hide a body.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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