my sisters under your porch take her home
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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