Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
