he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
