You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
