I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
