if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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