look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
