Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize
