why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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