I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
There's a naked man in my car right now.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
