If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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