Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize