it wasn't lemon gatorade
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Randomize
